i want life in every word

teh coolest lj ever

2004-06-04T15:51:25Z

caffey

2004-06-03T19:23:20Z

last night was the bomb diggity.

_wendy's with sam, holly, and spoon
_good conversation with sam the man
_kyle's house and that exercise machine thing me and holly played on
_seeing everyone at thelement except james because apparently im blind?
_good courtesy show (lj reply's still my favorite for life)
_LIZ BUYING ME A FREAKING VENTI FRAP!!
oh man. holly. we rock the bomb. :)

i would really like a boyfriend.

two texts and a phone call from platonic friend james all before noon. he leaves in a couple of weeks so we're hanging out this weekend.

i really want to get closer to Jesus. you're essential to survive, im gonna love you with my life.
pray for me like whoa.

im gonna go apply for some jobs.
maybe i'll write an honest entry sometime soon.

xxxscenecore @ 2004-06-01T18:32:00

2004-06-01T22:33:57Z

again, boys are silly. but, you're welcome to prove me wrong.

how bout i jsut dont care anymore...ok sounds good.

edit// thats not about anyone who reads my lj, so dont freak out.

:)

2004-05-31T16:10:11Z

happy things:

+the return of holler and jt

+god time in holly's big green schoolbus

+scored a youth large great to wait shirt

+james is coming to guitar with me on tues i believe

+lix and i are going to live together (we set goals)

+bono from U2 is my hero

+as is CAITLIN<3

+im devious and i have a secret evil plan. except its not evil.

<3

post 3

2004-05-30T06:40:33Z

so holly did this thing where she gave me her photography skills via...sonar. end result:

groodnight lovelies <3

very strong...

2004-05-30T05:50:56Z

soo james calls me every like 2 hours? lol..i talked to him for like over an hour at the tyson's last night..and everywhere in between...good times. i heart the maldonado.

friday night i went over to christy t's...watched the best movie ever, Ocean's Eleven (gash i wanna go to vegas...), spent the night, helped with her garage sale and watched the kids all day.....not the kind of watching the kids where you really just watch TV while they play...the kind of watching kids that you walk away from with actual battle scars (i have some)...then caitlin and i slept all afternoon and went to church. church was about God and the Bible. i really liked it.

soooooo then i talked to james some more, IMed with my beloved holly, and went to open mic at natura with jason eson, kid i havent hung out with in millions of years...apparently he works with all these clubs now and has connections @ the social. nice...but yeah. open mic was cool...this crazy crazy indie emo black hair in his face guy played songs with random made up emo chords and another guy on keys...sounded like one of those indie bands. you know. it was good.

so im getting into photography. funny story behind that digital camera...no one's asked me about it yet. its pretty cool though. kyle's harrassing me about pictures of his band so im out. seriously...im like their slave. or indentured servant.

<3

today i went to a four year old's bday party...:)

2004-05-27T19:29:45Z

nathan's girlfriend becca.

i kicked caitlin in the head sliding down one of the tubes...:D

too bad her eyes are REALLY BLUE

mini jon tyson. i swear he has an aussie accent just like his dad..coolest. kid. ever.

you can see up monika's nose...:) SHE'S BEAUTIFUL

end.

too bad i get to babysit those kids this weekend!!

yeah...coffee house action up at natura tonight! open mic..its cool like guinevere's, but less artsy. czech out Courtesy and whoever else plays.

photo adventure with holly and jessy tomorrow what???

CHEAT COMANDOS ROCK ROCK ON!!

xxxscenecore @ 2004-05-26T22:21:00

2004-05-27T02:46:57Z

dear every boy in the world,

please stop being so silly.

love,
emily

p.s.
am i mean sometimes?

COY camp

2004-05-26T04:14:13Z

so, tuesdays i usually get stuck hanging out with the courtest of you kids ALL DAY LONG...and its cool, kind of like camp. lots of fun stuff today. jason's mom is lots of fun, she's like a lion tamer or something and goes on mission trips...rock.

he drove me home from open mic night (courtesy played and did grreat might i add)...but yeah, i was talking to him on the phone and trying to find a ride home at the same time and he offered to swing by and pick me up. extremely nice of him, but still...ugh. i knew he'd be the only one to tell me i should go to georgia. he's going away this summer too, and then probably to tally for school. its so weird. we know a lot about each other, pretty deep...but theres this huge wall that i dont think will ever come down, dont really know where it came from either. i wish we could still talk about stuff, but he's just not who he used to be...maybe this is all in my head...maybe he's right and im lagging behind? oh well, i'll see him tomorrow.
< / being serious >

hahahaha. i have on crush on you. so you know...its weird.

element tomorrow, im excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<3

xxxscenecore @ 2004-05-24T16:31:00

2004-05-24T20:36:16Z

ahhh i gotta call the atlanta guy back today. he called two days ago and left a message...i just now listened to it.
IM SCARED/kind of excited...

aww and i was just getting used to the idea of chillin here...christy tyson says i should stay and that carries a lot of weight.
either way, i have to call them back and they sound really rich and fancy.
so yeah pray for me. i dont wanna think about this too much.

<3

a beautiful baby blue sky that's looking up at you

2004-05-24T02:08:56Z

pretty flowers

um, plants and stuff

oh geez im a CAM WHORE LIKE LIZ!!!

holler.

aahhhhhhh im addicted to my camera take it awaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ive relied on you like yellow does on blue

2004-05-22T07:44:03Z

EmMz2004: yeah but college is like a pick your own adventure novel
EmMz2004: you know
EmMz2004: and high school is like communist camp
wazzuphomiegdawg: eh
wazzuphomiegdawg: i like the secuirty of my communist camp thank you very much
EmMz2004: well..i guess college is like a pick your own adventure communist camp

graduation was bittersweet? more than that it was surreal. i felt like i was dreaming it. my brain cant hold the significance of all this. i liked throwing my cap in the air though, it was liberating. LIX (xbrightest) was right behind me in line, which was pretty groovalicious..other than that...ehh. i just dont like ceremony-type stuff. i hope i dont feel this way at my wedding.

basically...i realized that in the past four years i never fit at boone. whether it was the fallouts between friends that happened EVERY YEAR; the (false) rumor about me being a bigot; the weekends i didnt hang out with everyone because i didnt want to be the only sober one; or being a christian, but not a prep...which threw everyone off at FCA (most of the time. im not bashing FCA, i heart you guys. w/e)...i just never fit. im weird or something. at least switchfoot feels the same way..listen to the Beautiful Letdown.

but yeah. just for the record drewstud25 's community rocks me awesome. midway_ is a hipster and IMed me, we chatted about some stuff w/ my church and churhc in general. it was funny. God's so cool and here's why...i was rapping to Jesus about my church or lack thereof...literally 5 minutes later this dude from tennessee IMs me adn is like...hey...you should reconsider leaving your church because God might want to use you as a catalyst for change, and im like yeah i kinda thought so too but i dont wanna..etc etc etc. so long story short, im going to be more open to God keeping me at Discovery and using me there. im down for whatever He wants, cuz that's what's best for me.

oh and i got a digital camera for graduation...if you see me w/ it ask me to tell you a funny story about it.

anyway. its time for bed. someone go to IBAR with me sometime, it sounds kinda fun. <3

if i built you a city, would you let me? would you tear it down?

xxxscenecore @ 2004-05-20T16:46:00

2004-05-20T20:46:17Z

i wanna go to georgia.

C.S. Lewis

2004-05-20T05:40:06Z

"It was when I was happiest that I longed most...The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing...to find the place where all the beauty came from."

senior celebrity hot

2004-05-19T19:31:58Z

tonight is SENIOR CELEBRITY NIGHT at thelement!!!!
everyone go and check out the hot seniors!!
seniors get dressed up all formal-like, have a song played (mine is i believe in a thing called love by the darkness :D) while walking down the aisle up to the stage where we...say what college we're going to, or something..then they take us out on the town in a limo. i think. kim, grey, true etc. are doing it...come and bask in our hottness!!!

i have a hair appointment like now.

xxxscenecore @ 2004-05-17T23:03:00

2004-05-18T03:05:16Z

effing weirdest thing ever.

just watched two pretty significant ex's graduate, and my friend who has leukemia, but got better like last week. (PRAISE THE LORD)

it was edgewater, i knew like 4 people...ahh seeing him turned me into a bleeding heart emo kid...i wanted to meet his family from california..and neil's kid...but we had to leave. im sad and i hope he goes to valencia. i dont effing hate him...even if he doesnt like me...(insert lame taking back sunday lyrics here)

i need a hug
and a boyfriend.
accepting applications

p.s. i AM dating this summer if the opportunity arises. i changed my mind and yes i talked to Jesus about it :)

im lame

</3EMOLY

yeah...

2004-05-15T00:53:27Z

too bad i wanna BE copeland...

"The 'Christian' industry is all about selling Christ's name on CDs, shirts, stickers, and books. We feel that commercializing 'Christianity' is wrong. It is taking the Lords name in vein in a terrible way." -thecopelandsite.com

<3

xxxscenecore @ 2004-05-14T13:16:00

2004-05-14T17:21:23Z

this is so great::

He laid emeralds in her eyes,
but I'd already tried a bracelt made of gold
and a scarlet thread around her wrist.
Everything was wrong so we sang sentimental songs.
"Oh how seldom we belong but how elegant our kiss."
We painted crooked lines
but danced in perfect time to a love so much refined,
we know not what it is until like a dullen wine we pour into a grief known before
but never quite like this.
All i know now is regret,
it follows like a silhouette along the cobbelstone behind us,
but has nothing to say except to innocently ask,
its voice delicate as glass,
"Do you see me when we pass?"
but i continue on my way.

did i just finish high school?

2004-05-12T17:09:35Z

4 1/2 hours of free time starts...NOW!

HANG OUT WIHT MEEEEEEEEEEE

and go to thelement tonight!
amendment: thelement AND GUINEVERE'S???? ohh man, i miss that place!

p.s.
i can play fantastical distraction by courtesy of you on the guitar, which makes me a rocknroller. i still have to go play something for j-hilley before school's over. woot!

we tried to call you, but we forgot.

2004-05-11T17:54:35Z

just for the record, i really, really, really dont like school.

my graduation is hanging by the thread that is mr. griffin's mercy. im not really worried about it.

i want food, or my bed.

should i go friends only?

sludge-y

2004-05-10T03:14:43Z

this is another pray for me post. theyre pretty effective and i like the system we got goin here...so yeah. im getting selfish, and prideful, even materialistic, and just stupid. i feel like sludge. like pure apathy...i slept through both my opportunities to go to church today, i dont know if thats good or bad...and yeah, this weekend has just been a rollercoaster..so yeah, pray that God will like send a big lightening bolt to zap me out of this...cuz im just being dumb.

on a perkier note,

these are from my cell phone...so..they...suck.

new heels.

me and spoony rocking the chucks and formal wear

ignore the cleavage shot..it wasnt intentional...geez!

me and el holler, awaiting the switchfoot show...or something

holly, a-lumbering down the road..with drumsticks

my guitar

the great LIX taking her trademark point-the-camera-down shot...at cstone

eisley video on tv.

random picture of rachel in a cool hat!

end.

xxxscenecore @ 2004-05-06T22:46:00

2004-05-07T02:52:20Z

im supposed to write an essay, but AIM is seriously the best thing ever...
ohhh but graduating is better.
SELF DISCIPLINE GO!!!!

next week = freedom

xxxscenecore @ 2004-05-06T22:40:00

2004-05-07T02:40:46Z

xGodsNotDeadx: dont waste Christs death
xGodsNotDeadx: by either dying unncessary or by living unncessarily.

bah

2004-05-05T21:11:48Z

my mom will pay for me to go to cstone if i clean my room! i didnt even ask her to pay...and the really cool part is that ive been praying for a way to go for the last like 24 hours. WOOT!!

so yeah, im still unplugged, but i'll talk to christy about that tonight...dunno what she'll say. liz m. needs to come to my small group. i wish everyone who doesnt go to discovery would just, go there. so that all my friends could be in one place, not here and there and everywhere. im not in community. im a people person minus the people...its really frustrating.

<3see you guys tonight

xxxscenecore @ 2004-05-03T22:14:00

2004-05-04T02:48:21Z

my parents were gone all weekend...and although i love them deeply..it was sooo awesome and relaxing. me and God chilled...I worked out a lot..learned to hxc dance...laid out and fell asleep in the sun resulting in sunburn...yeah. sigh. it was beautiful.

I really want to go to Georgia...Mallory's getting me the hookups...this is gonna be scary but such a great experience.

Oh yeah, and I'm mad at my church. I havent really...been there in 2 1/2 weeks, just because of rides and stuff, and its really funny how no one's called me, not even my small group leader. I don't know if I want to open this can of worms on livejournal...but I read Acts 2 today and it's so far from what my church looks like:

A Vital Church Grows
⁴⁰ And with many other words he testified and exhorted them, saying, "Be saved from this perverse generation."⁴¹Then those who gladly received his word were baptized; and that day about three thousand souls were added to them.⁴²And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.⁴³Then fear came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles.⁴⁴Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common,⁴⁵and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need.
⁴⁶ So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart,⁴⁷praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the churchdaily those who were being saved.

Pray for my church, pray for me, pray for the dumb Christians everywhere who don't know what its like to have to lean on each other because they have their palm pilots and starbucks and whatever else...I'm wondering if this is just the church in America...or just my church..or maybe just me. God's totally blessed me with people like Holler and everyone I know in the music scene...thats seriously my lifeline right now, all the Christians I know outside of Discovery...so thanks everyone for being there. Yeah...ugh. God's really looking out for me, He's so awesome...I've grown so much at Discovery with leadership and the rest but I'm just fed up. It's been three years. There's more to this than cool lights and the cool band and cute worship leader and cool australian accent. I really think Georgia is an answer to prayer. God's so good for working things out. Speaking of working things out, Joe Loveless emailed me back today and postponed the video shoot thing about my freaking life story to be shown at thelement...for at least another week. ANSWER TO PRAYER! ive been so burned out, im not ready to share my testimony in front of 500 students/my whole school...so yeah. Sweet.

I'm out, thanks guys for reading my journal/praying for me whatever...comment a lot and i'll..bake you a cake. <333

just for the record, i am still going wednesday..lol.